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Script debut- 1st try- Alien redneck on the street interview

dk

MemberTrilobiteJanuary 20, 20172842 Views7 Replies

I have seen a lot of talk about people writing scripts but no examples. I have no idea how to do one but here is my first attempt and I completely expect ridicule.

However, if anyone finds any value and wants to run with it, by all means, do! Here is the background:

It is me interviewing people about AC- particularly about the assumption that Shaw is the victim of devious deeds. Again, please know I have never attempted this and I kept it clean as possible. (takes breath) here goes:

Hello, I am DK, proud member of what I call the Scified Collective. New footage of Alien Covenant has been released and I spoke with some people afterwards about it. Here were there comments:

DK- So what do you think of how Shaw is portrayed in this movie?

Anonymous 1- Well, DK, I think it is just wrong to see a youngish woman put through a situation like this just to punish her for saying that she deserves to know why some lily white manly looking man got woken up sleeping through the crack of noon. Maybe he would have answered her question if that other old fart didn’t interrupt her or if she woke him up to the smell of bacon cooking on an iron frying pan….He didn’t seem to have any laundry she could have washed for him.

Anonymous 2- Well, DK my friend and brother, she gave birth to a new generation. It looked pretty painful, but she sacrificed that pain for her beliefs. Conveniently, it is easier for me to empathize being male and all not having ever to had go through that myself, but you get my drift, right DK?

Anonymous 3- Why did Ripples flame all dem dere eggs? They didn’t do nothin’ wrong! They was just mindin’ their own bisness and got burned! They all deserved a meaningful life like anyone else!

DK: Okay, how do we raise these new human killing parasites who you say deserve to be born?

Anonymous 3- I just mind my bisness. That’s about personally responsibility and guvment!

DK: Umm…OK, but those things don’t seem to know or care about those concepts.

Anonymous 3- (grabs a broom): Get them li’l bass t$rds away from me ya hear? Call the Army! (Shuts and locks door- all 5 locks).

 

 

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dk
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Part 2:

Anonymous 4- Those critters creep me out, DK! I heard scrithin’s comin’ from the garage the other night and found a shredded bag of cat food the ne next morning! I saw one in my back yard just this mornin’ and shot with my 12 gauge when it gave me the stink eye! It started steamin’ and bubblin’ like porin’ lighter fluid on an open fire (when I thought it was a fire extinguisher)! It burnt a hole and ended up in my ceptic tank- sendin’ all kinds of the nasty into the air! I’ waiting for a HAZMAT team right now and…..did you see dat? Dare it is! Here it come! I gotta reload I’m out os sh(gags as the facehugger jumps him).

DK- Well, we can see that these creatures are certainly causing troubles in our inner cities and we await more guidance. However, our wild cat problem has diminished and for that, we are thankful. Back to you, Chris!

 

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ninXeno426
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Holy hell hah hah hah!!!That's F'n hilarious!Keep it comeing!

Nothing the God of biomechanics wouldn't let you in heaven for 

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dk
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Appreciated. I thought there was another thread where people were talking about scripts but nothing happened. No rules that say it has to be all serious. I encourage all and hereby set the bar as low as it can go. Things can only get better. I might try to hone my southern tinged version more.

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Part 3-

Good evening, this is DK reporting from the deep south at an undisclosed location. I am here in the woods with Festus who is dealing with the face huggers in the tradition of the back woods survivalist.

Festus, How are you? How are you managing with the face hugger problem out here?

Festus:

Well DK, these critters they call face huggers been around a few months now and those city folk can’t handle NUTTIN! Damn social sevice thumb suckin’ cry babies! Now, you gots to be practical livin’ out here in the back 40. Do we like these face huggers? HELL NO! Do we deal with them? You know it brutha!

Ya see, We catch ‘em- not sayin’ how- what matters is they get caught! Now- you get yoself a nice a big ol’ pot of boilin’ water with some Cajun spices, onions, corn on the cob and some lye to counteract that acid blood, and you got yo self some of the best creole this side of the Mississip, yessir!

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ninXeno426
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Hey dk got any more?

Nothing the God of biomechanics wouldn't let you in heaven for 

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dk
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I moved everything to the Alien Stories thread.

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ninXeno426
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Ok that's good.

Nothing the God of biomechanics wouldn't let you in heaven for 

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